I feel your pain – that’s exactly the route I took, and it sucks. I’m sorry you’re going through this. My answer may get a little long. Bear with me, I’ll answer your question.
There are two types of “depression” – I really wish we’d rename one of them so people wouldn’t get confused. There’s being depressed – lower case “d”. That’s a case of the blues. Everyone gets it. Typically it’s caused because something happened – it’s situational. Someone close to you dies, you break up with your girlfriend, you blow a test, whatever. Especially around the holidays lots of people get depressed. If you’re depressed working out helps you feel better. Someone saying “Hey guy, look on the bright side. Tough this out, things are going to get better!” makes sense. You know in your heart that yeah, even though things suck now, eventually it’s going to swing the other way.
Then there’s the other type of depression. Capital D “Clinical Depression”. This isn’t caused by a situation, though something bad happening can certainly make it worse. Clinical Depression is caused by a chemical imbalance. When I’m Depressed, if someone tells me to “look on the bright side” I really want to punch them. I get even more Depressed because I can’t. Working out is out of the question. When I’m Depressed I can barely move, and when I do it hurts. In fact it feels like a combination of lead and lava. I couldn’t go to school, and when I did I couldn’t concentrate. This followed me for years. It was easy for me to get jobs, but I lost every one of them because of this. I came very close to graduating college – I even got through my student teaching – but in the end I couldn’t make it because of the Depression.
If you’re dealing with Clinical Depression, I don’t need to tell you it’s complicated. You already know that. Do you have anyone around you who will actually listen to you? Any authority figure will do – a relative, a religious leader, a teacher, school counselor… anyone? You need a pro to help you figure out what’s going on, and that means getting to a psychiatrist.
Incidentally some people don’t know what the difference is between a psychologist and a psychiatrist. So just to explain – a psychologist is a therapist. They help identify your thought process and then try to give you tools to use when things get rough. A psychiatrist is an MD (among other things). Clinical Depression is caused by a physical problem, which just happens to affect the way you think. A psychiatrist can help identify what may be out of balance, and can prescribe meds that might help.
There’s a lot you can work out on your own, but it looks like you’ve gone that route already, and you’ve taken it as far as you can. Track down someone who will really listen to you, and see if you can get in to see a psychiatrist for an initial diagnosis. You may have to see your regular doctor first – it’s a tedious process. Be as patient as you can.
If you are diagnosed with Clinical Depression, hang on to that patience with both hands. You’ll need as much as you can get. The psychiatrist will start out with a combo of drugs, depending on what they think is wrong. It takes time for any psychiatric drug to take effect, and even then, the effect may not be what you wanted. This is a long, drawn-out process (did I mention this sucks?) before you get the specific combo that works best for you. Keep the lines of communication as open as you can, count to 10 as often as you have to. You’ll also need to work with a psychologist to mentally get to a better place – the two of them work together.
One other thing, and again I’m basing all this on a lot of “ifs”. If you can talk to a psychiatrist, if you are diagnosed with Clinical Depression and if you do start taking meds, be sure to ask what the side effects are of those meds. And try not to freak out. Most doctors are very reluctant to discuss the side effects of psych meds with patients, because they sound so bad that most patients refuse to take them. Almost all of them slow down your metabolism, and many of them lead to weight gain. I’m mentioning this up front because you talked about working out in your question. If you already have enough discipline to work out, really all you need to do is maintain that. The worst thing you can do on psych drugs is to slow down or stop moving. The weight will really pack on quick. If you stay as active as you can you’ll hopefully be that much ahead of the game.
If you’re able to get back on an even keel, hopefully your motivation will be restored and your grades will bounce back. Right now, stay focused on your health. Classes can be taken over if it comes down to that. (still sucks). What’s so cool about your question is that you’re asking it in the 10th grade. I wish to God I had your forethought! Catching it now means all your opportunities are still ahead of you. Focus on you, get this straightened out, consider this the finest investment in your future you’ll ever make.
I wish you all the best.