“What can I do to put you at ease? Shall we begin like “David Copperfield”? I am born, I grow up. Or shall we begin when I was born to darkness, as I call it. That’s really where we should start, don’t you think?” – Interview With the Vampire
Hi. I’m Lisa. When I was a little kid no one really knew what to make of me. I didn’t act like a little kid. I started reading Tolkien and Heinlein in the 3rd grade. By 5th grade it was Asimov, Dante and Homer. I had already won my first writing contest, all my classes were “advanced”. I was a fantastic athlete, star student, heck, I was even a cheerleader for a while.
What I didn’t know was that I was seriously ill, and it was about to get worse.
No one knows when bipolar mood swings start to manifest. With some people it’s very early, with some it becomes obvious only gradually. I had the temper from hell even as a small child, but most chalked it up to my being “precocious“. When the temper got worse I had a reputation for being “spoiled”. But that was really nothing, until hormones hit. I’m one of the few “lucky” souls to be diagnosed with both Bipolar I and PMDD (what used to be called “rapid cycle bipolar”).
I fought it for a few decades. Finally, on August 17 2001, I was placed in a psychiatric unit. I have been hostage to illnesses, both mental and physical, my entire life. They have shaped me, placed me outside the social norm, but they’ve also offered some interesting perspectives along the way.
You don’t recover from this stuff. There’s no known cause or cure for Bipolar. But I’ve become stable enough to write again. That’s enough for now.
You’ll find the timeline hit and miss. I’ve been journaling for years, but as of this writing I’m quite new to WordPress. I’m starting with some of my favorite entries. I’ll fill in the gaps as I go.