This is new, and I think it’s a lingering symptom from the past 10 years. A scar, if you will, from the Beast that must be navigated around. Scars are tough. Can you believe I’m intimidated by my writing? How bizarre is that? Once upon a time I couldn’t stop. Then all I wanted to do was get it back. Then I tried to do it, but it was total crap.
So now I’m actually doing good work again. I know I am, because 2 days ago I was really pleased by what I wrote. But I’ve been trying to go back to it all day today, only to find that I’m too nervous to actually read it!
I’ve got the fear.
It’s so unexpected I hardly know what to do with it! I recognize it as a symptom. I’ve felt this before and always chose to find a wary path around anything that set up this kind of trigger – better left alone than to be confronted. But… come on! My writing? Why is it covered by a fear trigger?
This is so not fair. I’ve gotta find a way around this. Because my logical brain is convinced I’ve got nothing to be ashamed of. I did good work! Hum. What to do…